SO, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

“Well, just for that, I am not going to share my dessert with you guys”, says Charmy.

“What are you eating for dessert?”, asks Frenchy with a sigh of disappointment.

“Raspberry tarts”, informs Charmy.

“Well, I cannot eat that”, says Frenchy. “I don’t want to turn into a sleazy tart. I have a reputation… A good reputation. I do not want THAT kind of reputation”.

“Yeah, what were you even thinking?”, asks Turtle.

“Look, you do not turn into what you eat”, explains Charmy. “That is an old Wives’ Tale. That is nothing but a made-up story”.

Up walks an angry old woman, yelling obscenities. I have edited the interaction for family reading.

“What is sam’s hill are you talking about!”, screams the old woman. “Are you calling me a liar?”

“Um, who are you?” asks Charmy.

“I am Cecilia Story-Teller”, says the old woman.

“Story-Teller?” asks Charmy.

“Yes, my last name is Story-Teller,” explains the old woman, “My maiden name is Story and my husband’s last name is Teller. I hyphenated our names. Do you have an issue with that”?

Editor’s note, I took thirty-two extremely offensive words out of that woman’s mouth. You are welcome.

“No, of course not”, says Charmy.

“Well, I am the old wife who has made the discovery that people are what they eat”, claims the old woman.

“That is just crazy”, says Charmy. There is no proof for this”.

The old woman reaches into her tiny purse and pulls out a huge stack of folders.

“Oh yeah?”, asks the old woman. “Here are documented studies proving I am correct”.

Up walk Flimp eating something from a can.

“What is Flimp eating?”, asks Charmy.

“Oopa!” screeches Flimp the Chimp.

“He says he is eating nuts”, translates Frenchy.

“Look, I apologize ma’am”, says Charmy. “I stand corrected”.

The old woman walks away cursing and swearing.

“I need to start eating brain food”, mumbles Charmy.

“It is way too late for you”, says Frenchy.

“Oopa?” asks Flimp as he offers Charmy some of his mixed nuts.

“May as well,” says Charmy. “After all, you are what you eat”.

End Scene