The Candy Bar hummed with its usual comfortable noise, glasses tapping softly against the bar and the low murmur of conversation drifting through the room. Charmy sat hunched over the counter with a red frisbee resting beside his elbow, staring at it like it had personally betrayed him. Blue sat calmly next to him, relaxed and confident as always, while Frenchy leaned on the bar listening with the kind of curiosity usually reserved for bizarre documentaries.
Charmy finally turned toward Blue again, his patience wearing thin.
“Let me try this another way,” Charmy said. “If the world is really flat, how do you explain photos of the Earth from orbiting satellites?”
Blue did not even hesitate.
“Photoshop,” he replied.
Charmy blinked.
“The government fakes the photos,” Blue continued casually.
Charmy stared at him.
Frenchy slowly turned his head toward Blue, interested to see where this would go.
Blue leaned forward slightly, lowering his voice like someone sharing classified information.
“The government doesn’t want you to know the horrors that rest beyond the ice wall.”
Charmy froze.
“Horrors.”
Blue nodded seriously.
“The things that live out there.”
Charmy stared at him for a long moment, then suddenly sat upright.
“Holy macca noodle!” Charmy exclaimed. “Is that where Whoopi Goldberg and the cast of The View came from?!?”
Frenchy burst out laughing.
Blue frowned slightly.
“That is not what I meant.”
Charmy leaned back in his stool, grinning now.
“Well it explains a lot,” Charmy said.
Blue ignored the comment and continued.
“The ice wall surrounds the outer edge of the world,” Blue said. “Beyond it is territory that normal people are not supposed to see.”
Frenchy raised an eyebrow.
“Like what?”
Blue leaned closer.
“Giants.”
Charmy blinked slowly.
“Giants.”
Blue nodded.
“Yes. Huge ones.”
Charmy rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“So we are being protected from extremely tall neighbors.”
Blue looked slightly annoyed.
“It is not funny.”
Charmy held up a hand.
“No, keep going. I want to hear about the giants.”
Blue continued with complete seriousness.
“They are enormous creatures that roam the frozen land beyond the wall.”
Charmy nodded slowly.
“Do they also play basketball.”
Blue sighed.
“I am trying to explain the truth.”
Frenchy leaned closer.
“How tall are these giants.”
Blue thought for a moment.
“Maybe thirty feet tall.”
Charmy nodded.
“That is impressive.”
Blue looked satisfied that his explanation was being heard.
“They could easily crush entire cities.”
Charmy glanced around the Candy Bar.
“Well that would definitely affect the lunch crowd.”
Blue continued.
“And they are not the only things out there.”
Charmy widened his eyes dramatically.
“Oh good. There is more.”
Blue nodded.
“There are also creatures that resemble enormous reptiles.”
Frenchy tilted his head.
“Dinosaurs.”
Blue shook his head.
“Worse.”
Charmy leaned closer to him.
“Worse than dinosaurs.”
Blue nodded again.
“They hunt in the frozen plains.”
Charmy folded his hands together.
“And the government is hiding all this.”
Blue pointed at him.
“Exactly.”
Charmy rubbed his forehead again.
“So the government is secretly protecting us from giants and monster reptiles.”
“Yes.”
Charmy nodded slowly.
“That is a lot of responsibility.”
Blue crossed his arms proudly.
“Most people are not ready to hear the truth.”
Charmy looked at Frenchy.
“I was not ready to hear the truth either.”
Frenchy laughed quietly.
Blue continued as if delivering an important lecture.
“There are also rumors of enormous birds that fly over the ice wall.”
Charmy leaned back again.
“Of course there are.”
Blue nodded.
“They are large enough to carry animals away.”
Charmy stared at him.
“Well that explains why my socks disappear in the dryer.”
Blue frowned.
“That is unrelated.”
Frenchy chuckled again.
Charmy pointed at Blue.
“You are telling me that giant birds, giant reptiles, and thirty foot tall giants are all just hanging out past a frozen wall around the planet.”
Blue nodded firmly.
“Yes.”
Charmy rubbed his temples again.
“And satellites are fake.”
“Yes.”
“And every astronaut is lying.”
“Yes.”
“And nobody has accidentally flown over this wall.”
Blue shook his head.
“The government prevents it.”
Charmy leaned closer.
“So every pilot in the world is secretly working for the same conspiracy.”
Blue nodded confidently.
“Exactly.”
Charmy sat back and stared at the ceiling for several seconds.
Frenchy watched him with amusement.
Charmy finally looked back at Blue.
“I have a question.”
Blue nodded.
“Go ahead.”
Charmy held up the frisbee.
“If giant monsters exist beyond the ice wall, why are you worried about the shape of the Earth instead of the monsters.”
Blue thought about that for a moment.
“Because the shape of the Earth proves the monsters exist.”
Charmy blinked.
“That feels like skipping several steps.”
Blue shrugged.
“The evidence is out there.”
Charmy sighed and looked toward the window again. The meadow outside was still bright and peaceful, completely free of giant reptiles and thirty foot giants.
Charmy pointed toward the door.
“You know what I would like to see out there.”
Blue looked at him.
“What.”
“A frisbee flying through the air.”
Blue folded his arms.
“You know my condition.”
Charmy groaned.
“Blue, if monsters beyond the ice wall ever attack us, I promise I will admit the planet is shaped like a waffle.”
Blue nodded thoughtfully.
“That is reasonable.”
Charmy stood up and picked up the frisbee.
“But until then,” Charmy said, “I am going outside.”
Frenchy watched him head toward the door.
Blue leaned back on his stool again, completely calm.
“Eventually he will see the evidence,” Blue said.
Frenchy grinned.
“Or the giants.”
Blue nodded.
“Yes. The giants will probably convince him.”
Outside the Candy Bar, Charmy stepped into the warm afternoon sunlight and looked across the peaceful meadow. The sky was clear, the grass moved gently in the breeze, and the world looked exactly the same as it always had.
Charmy tossed the frisbee into the air and caught it again.
“Giants,” Charmy muttered.
He shook his head and walked toward the field, wondering how a simple invitation to play frisbee had somehow turned into a discussion about monster birds and frozen walls at the edge of the planet. The debate inside the Candy Bar was clearly not finished, and if Blue had anything to say about it, the theories were only going to get stranger before this whole thing was over.
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